I went to school today.

yea. as soon as i stepped into the parade square and i saw my friends, i cried. hahas. guess im damn dumb. yups. and after sitting down with my friends, i cried again. and while kim is praying. i cried again. hahas. i felt so stupid lahs. it's not worth it (x

and miss lem/mdm lem wanna talk to me. she asked me to look for her. well, i didnt. hmmm. she saw me crying and my friends said she shook her head. hahas. and i sort of cried on the bus too, cos im touched by the postcards darling and xiaokeaino.3 wrote to me. hahas.

i thought that we would really last. you were sweet, nice and many many more. that time, things were really great. i wished that we would never be separated. but the fact is. reality really hit me hard at some points. you suddenlly stopped replying my sms-es or replied weirdly. I was really worried cos you said you were sick. everything stopped. this is how you want it to end. you can just scott free and i have to suffer alone? it's not fair.

the lies that you said. the things that you sweared but didnt mean it. a pack of lies. i hate myself for believing you, loving you more and more each day. but i dont regret it, cos at least i did learn to cherish you. i put my heart and soul into that relationship.

the truth hurts, but i feel better cos at least i think i know the real reason? i saw his friendster's testi-s. i guess maybe he left me cos he like another girl. they chatted so much while he didnt bother to reply my messages and said he's sick. or maybe he still like his ex rachel? well, maybe all this are not true, im overthinking, jumping to conclusions or what. im very sorry. i dont give a damn anymore. bastard, liar, cheater =X

dear friends, i wont cry le (: though sometimes, somehow i just feel like crying. but i guess, you all are right. it's not worth it. i will try my best. i will stay strong. i will move on and dont let it affect me. there's more to life. o levels, grade 7 piano exams, my family and my dear friends. im not alone. i still have you guys. thanks a lot.

sweetie wrote to me this letter,

Sweetie(:

dont always think more than you should okay? i know it's hard. especially now. i know the feeling of waiting for an answer can be tormenting but all the more you should be strong! girls dont need guys to live! no matter what the outcome is, you still have good friends that you can count on. if he wants to let it go, it's his loss. do you hear me? dont ever think that you cannot live without him okay? you lived before he came along. right? cheer up! everything will be fine. if he really is that kind of guy. then he probably not worth it. there are better guys out there! dont worry anymore!

loves!

and honey wrote this in her blog (:

sometimes through some incidents, we see the wider horizon of life.
life is full of ups and downs.
what is most important is that we can stand up after our fall.
it may hurting, it may be miserable. it may be the worst thing in life.
but there will always be a rainbow after the rain.
things will turn for the better. just like how things can turn bad anytime.

be strong honey, we are all behind you.


thank you people (:
mummy, gladys, sinyi, xinyi, yiwei, xiaoman, sirong, isabella, cherie, cindy, wenya, lixuan, pinye, pamela, yankgkai, yixuan, michelle, cheryl sim, siyun, cheryl ng, cheyenne, huiling, hazel, holas, limhan, jaslyn, jiahao, natasha[someone], cassandra[someone's friend], passer-by, joyceee, laurel, hx, xh, daryl, shuhui, sharon, chiang lin, sherman, yuting, jiayin, madeline, irvin, kristin, clar, dee and the rest who do care (:

though my heart is still bleeding and i do wish that we can still be tgoether. i know that i should give up. you love me no more and the one i love is the old you. the old you is gone. sooooooo, it's not worth it. i will let it go and get over you.

there's no point anymore. you broke my heart again and again. you hurted me so badly. i tried to forgive you cos i love you so much. but everything still turned out wrongly, not the way i thought it should be. you broke my heart once more. you hurted me even more.

i will pick up the pieces that you broke. i will heal my wound. i will get rid of my swollen eyes. i will go on with my life like last time, without you. i will get use to it. i will be happy again. i will laugh and be cheerful again. i got back my appetite. i wont strave myself. i will live for god and not for you. cos god is good, all the time.

good luck with your new life (x